Chaos, panic and disorder

July is about to end, we’re more than halfway through 2013 and a quick mental evaluation of the year so far leaves me with an oddly mixed feeling of stress and optimism.

I’ve been in a bit of a rut for the past year, creatively, socially, financially, professionally–pretty much every way. The trouble with ruts is that the longer you spend stuck in one, the harder it is to haul yourself out. The solution I came up with, naturally, has been to quit my job and move across the country. It seemed to make sense when I came to the decision…

So right now I’m trying to secure somewhere to live, looking for new employment and contemplating the imminent prospect of becoming a student again (this time just for a one-year Publishing MA course). It’s all incredibly stressful and frightening and very, very exciting. I can’t remember the last time I was this energised and enthusiastic and all it took was the determination to actually do something, take a risk and desperately hope that it pays off, because I’m young and I can and if I wait and see then in five years or ten years or forty years I’ll still be standing in exactly the same place, waiting and seeing.

So that’s the state of my year. I’ve ripped it all apart hoping that it will come back together and, if I work really hard and try my very best, maybe I’ll be better for it.

Daily Prompt: State of Your Year


7 responses to “Chaos, panic and disorder

  1. Good luck!
    I don’t like change but I must admit, the last time I changed a load of stuff (moved house, went “single”) I felt quite energised!
    I think changing jobs as well would have been a step too far for me, though 🙂

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  4. I have a feeling that this is going to be the best thing you ever did for yourself. Had a friend who always said, “Change is always for the better.” In the end – I have found it to be true. Becoming a student again sounds exciting. Though if you haven’t been in a classroom for a while, don’t be surprised if you feel restless. I took some classes after a number of years, and it was so hard for me an the others like me in the class to just sit still.

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